Dweep was (even after a year I cant get used to the past tense) a star…he knew it, we knew it and if someone dint, he damn well made sure that they did…
Its taken me a year to remember not to turn around scream his name out loud and see him strutting over with a wiseass comment.
This is not a situation I have encountered ever before! A colleague passes away, a few inane comments are passed and that’s that. But he was more than just that wasn’t he? A good friend dies…reason to grieve, pick up the pieces and move on. Normally (wonder whether this can ever be called normal) that’s what you are expected to do…I guess…
But that’s not what happened is it? My grieving process just took a whole lot longer and continues in some ways.
When you see talent, when you see a zest for life, when you see combativeness, when you see love, when you see kinship and above all when you see a strain of vulnerability where it’s not expected it screws up the way you look at things.
But most of all its anger, it’s the bloody frustration at constantly seeing what could have been. Wishing that you hadn’t been away when the terrible accident happened. Wishing that somehow the miracles you hear about all the time happens in this case. Even after his struggle for a month we were sure that he was just going to get up from that goddamn hospital bed, drive back in a manic pace and proceed to kick ass. Struggle was probably never his style though was it? Nonchalant ease, a blindingly simple and quick (half baked?) solution was more his forte than a protracted battle.
There is nothing in this situation but to rant and rave at the sheer injustice of it all.
To quote my boss and dear friend “Dweep puts you through the same kind of heart ache and trouble as you put me through”. And the truth in that statement hit me much later. Lots of good times…yes. Lots of problems..goes with the territory. But boring times…never….
There is no point to this post though, am not writing a glowing tribute to a dear friend nor have I figured out whether I have let go. But I do know that Dweep was (damn) loved……and that continues to be so……
Dweepu…my buddy…my brother…miss you….
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3 comments:
you touch a raw nerve with this post...i have so many friends and family telling me its just a matter of time before I bring grief to my loved ones...i need to change..struggle, as u so rightly put it..keep the faith..i know u will
Yes bro! Dweep was all this and much more. I still cant bring myself to delete his name from my phone book. and i dont think, i ever will. Still remember the fun we used to have when we used to come to history meetings....Dweep, kausar and i...and the damn omelete that never arrived!!!!
RIP Dweep!
yeah...the omelette...i remember after the meeting in which you never got it...the next meeting dweep was like...boss lets order 15 mins before gerry gets here....hehaehaeh
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